By Tomisin Obasanmi
Anger Management is one of the best qualities that anyone can possess, and it is easily so.
Anger is a feeling or emotion that ranges from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.
Anger is an emotion, and does not necessarily lead to aggression. Anger is normal either good or bad, but how you handle the feeling is what makes all the difference. Individuals who have mastered Anger Management are seen as near perfect people.
Emotions are essentially part of human lives, as a matter of emphasis, emotions gives meaning to life.
There are six basic emotions; Surprise, Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust.
Emotions are the colors that give expression to the beauty of life.
Problems arise when we allow our emotions to control us rather we controlling the emotions. Anger from the mention list is strongest, and has tendencies to force a person to act out of irrationality.
If not managed properly, anger could leave a deep imprint on you, there by making you take ill thought actions within split seconds. One that could lead to a lifelong regret.
It is best to learn practical techniques to manage anger.
Let me share a true inspirational life story of a young couple; Benson and Diana have been married for two years. While Diana, the wife has terrible anger, Benson her husband is a gentle soul. He is well loved for his easiness.
However, Benson is a swillbowl, a heavy drunkard. And lies to his wife about his drinking habits. Benson resorts to lies, because his wife screams, nags and threatens to call it quits with the marriage.
He would apologies and promise not to turn new leaf. But not much changed after all.
She later realized the problem is something that could be managed rather controlled through yelling. She calmly helped her husband manage his issues, and here was result within a short while.
They had a heart to heart conversation. She told him how she feels whenever he drinks. She told him how things will change if he still continues with his drinking.
After letting out her mind, he decided to apologize and promised not to go back to it never again.
Remember you can’t control another person. But you can control how you react to the other person which often greatly influences what they decide to do in the future.
How to manage anger in a relationship
1. Manage yourself and not your partner. Work at being a better person yourself your partner’s life will generally reflect same.
2. Do not react to situations immediately. Allow yourself breathe, then diffuse situations reacting.
3.Talk things out when you are both calm.
4.Don’t engage yourself in similar behavior.
5. Be an active listener. Anger is most times do not appraise situations before reacting. Listen to understand your partner. Then subject your impending action to scrutiny before reacting.
6. Internalize calming phrases. Say words like this to yourself, ‘Calm Down’, ‘Take it Easy’, ‘It’s Okay’.
7. Space out. Try to give yourself space. Walk away, whenever you are angry.
8. Forgiveness. Ensure you have the heart that forgives and forget.
Lastly, every relationship requires
communication, and this is not limited to verbal communication, you must learn to communicate your emotions to your partner even when you’re not saying a word. Communication is very essential to anger management.
All the best with love.