Popular Sex Coach, Erotic Masseur and Adult Entertainment Expert Kebu Joy Philip, known mostly to her fans as Goddess Jhay, in this expository and engaging interview with Apples Bite Magazine, talks about finding her career path as a sex expert, childhood influence, self-pleasure and plans for the future. Enjoy the excerpt.
How did you earn the name Goddess Jay?
I am an actual Goddess! A Goddess of Love & Sex. And the JHAY comes from my name “Joy”.
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How would you describe goddess Jay?
Goddess Jhay cannot be described. She can only be experienced.
What’s your sexual orientation, straight, gay or bi-sexual?
I am QUEER
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How does growing up influence what you do?
I have always been a sensual person as far as I can remember, since the age of 5! I didn’t understand what it was then, but I knew I felt differently and sensed things around me differently from everyone else. And then my abuse opened me up to my Sexual side way quickly than my peers. I started masturbating at a very young age, and that really did affect me a great deal growing up into an adult! What I do right now stems from my childhood experience.
What’s your educational background?
I have a University Degree, a few Diplomas and lots of Certifications.
Did you train professionally for this or you’re self-taught?
I started out as Self-taught, but I had to go train and get my certifications to allow me serve in a professional and accredited capacity.
What does sex mean to you?
Sex to me is who I am at the core of my being. It is how I exist. It is how I create; it is how I experience the world around me; it is how I experience deeper forms of pleasure; it is how I thrive!
How long have you been doing this?
I have been doing this for close to 5 years now.
Is this kind of career financially rewarding?
(Do you make enough money from what you do?)
Well, I do a lot of things lol. With the Sex Coaching, it’s more of the joy of impacting than the financial return, however, I am working to start monetizing and making a lot more from it.
My Adult Business however, the Erotic massage, the Private Exclusive Memberships give me the greatest financial return.
Do you agree that sex is therapeutic?
Hell Yes! Sex can be therapeutic, but it can also be draining and cause you stress and harm. Anything at all can offer therapy, it just depends on how we approach it. Approaching Sex with mindfulness and as a Spiritual concept that it is will surely prove therapeutic.
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How often should a guy or lady have sex?
Lol! As many times as they want to! However, when having sex becomes the center of their focus and life and it begins to affect other aspects of their lives, relationships, energy and work, then there is a problem. If Sex becomes something done constantly out of compulsion and instant gratification alone, there will always be a problem.
Do you agree self-pleasure helps you know your body well?
As a Fairy Self Pleasure Goddess lol! I totally agree! It’s impossible to teach a partner how to pleasure you when you don’t even know how to pleasure yourself. It’s true that you can’t give what you don’t have. Self-pleasuring gives you awareness, knowledge about your body and connects you deeply to your body when done the right way and with mindfulness!
This is the entire idea behind my Famous Class “The Tantric Self Pleasure Class”. Where I teach Men and Women how to masturbate in a way that shows respect and inclusion for their entire body instead of the mainstream way of just charging off to your genitals and causing yourself some damage in the process. Masturbation is great, it’s not evil and it’s not a sin! Contrary to what we have been conditioned to think.
Self-pleasure is the key to finding out our body’s desires, urges, and pleasure zones. And knowing all these helps us know what we need, to feel good, how to fulfill those desires in the best way and then we can transfer that knowledge to our partners for a satisfying experience.
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You seem to have deep level knowledge of astrology too, how did you come about that?
I must tell you I used to hate talking astrology, based on how I was brought up! But then, I had my awakening which pushed me to curiously wanting to know more about myself and why I am the way I am or why I am drawn to the things I am drawn to. Then I met a friend who was a teacher of astrology. She got me to check my birth chart and since then I have been fascinated about this Language that people take so lightly!
Most people will stop struggling and start getting happier when they figure out their birth chart and use that as a guide to their soul path!
Contrary to what most people think, Astrology is not a belief system or religion. It’s a Language! Just like Arabic, like Spanish, like
English!
What’s the connection between astrology and sex?
Hmmm! This one is a long talk but I’ll try to simplify it! I am sure you have a knowledge of the “12 Tribes of Judah/Israel. Which if looked at deeply we’ll realize these tribes actually represent each of God’s personalities.
So, every human being has 12 houses in their Astrological Birth chart that represents the different 12 levels of human experiences and personalities.
For Sex, your personality will always affect how you choose to experience pleasure, the kind of sexual activities that tickles your fancy, the kind of people you are sexually attracted to and also your energy, drive and your passion when it comes to sex.
Your Astrological signs now are the containers of your personalities, I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s how I like to see it.
So, for example, most people know Scorpios to be very freaky, sexual and sensual! And that’s because of the fact that they have this depth that other signs don’t have. That deep dark side that allows for anything!
Planets are also a big part of these astrological makeup because the planets rule the signs! For example, the Planet “Saturn” rules the “Capricorn” sign! So, when you go study the qualities of the Saturn planet. Then you will find all of it evident in a Capricorn person. I digress but it’s important.
When it comes to our sexuality now which by the way “Love is also a bug part of that” There cannot be Passion in sex except there is an atom of love for the person. (And I am not talking Romantic Love). So, with our sexuality- Two Planets are responsible for that and that’s “Venus” (The mother of love and sex) and “Mars” the Father of Vitality and Passion.
Which both play a big role in our sexual experiences. When it comes to sex, whatever sign is in this planet, in your birth chart will be the personalities evident in you with Sex.
For example, I have my Venus in “Aquarius” and that’s why I will ever always prefer to stay in the cyber space and explore Sex there! People see me and are shocked to meet a different person in the bedroom. They see my Venus in Aquarius all over the net! The kinky one who doesn’t like conventional stuffs and is always innovating new stuffs or businesses with sex! That’s all my Aquarius sign in Venus!
But in the bedroom, when it comes to partnered sexual experiences, which requires passion and stamina! My Mars always comes to play! I have my Mars in “Cancer” which means my passion, strength, vitality and stamina is that of a Cancer energy. So, in bed with a partner, you won’t ever see the freaky, kinky or bitchy lady! But a grounded, caring, sensual, nurturing and highly laid-back version of Jhay.
So, if we figure out what signs we have in these two planets in our birth chart it becomes a blueprint for us to discover our sexual strength so that we are experiencing more of that and also identify our sexual weaknesses where we need to improve, heal from or grow out of.
I have said too much already lol! It can be like that when I am talking astrology and sex. I hope this gives you short overview of how astrology affects our sex life.
Do you experience criticism from society and people generally about your profession?
Of course! That one is inevitable. I get stares, judgements, and a whole lot of insults and sometimes threats! But my skin is thick already.
What is the big dick and pussy energy group about?
The “Big Dick & Big Pussy Energy” circle is my Private Coaching Membership for Men and Women who are looking to break free from outdated, societal, religious beliefs and programming keeping them stuck in gaining Sexual Freedom.
Individuals who want to be able to live, enjoy and explore their pleasure, sexuality and life on their own terms but can’t because they are still holding on to other people’s opinions and beliefs and would love to get out of that rut! In this circle, we meditate, workout, meet and learn together. We talk about anything and everything but especially Sex and how to explore it within our values and individual beliefs and most importantly it’s a safe, nonjudgmental and evolutionary space.
We push each other to elevate, heal, and nurture our hearts and energies. So that we can be the best and favorite versions of ourselves and have soulful connections, experiences, pleasures and orgasms.
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Are you in a relationship?
I am in a Free Relationship.
What are your takes on commitments and relationship?
Right now, I believe so much in commitments and relationships! I use to be the opposite but I am grateful for growth and healing which goes to show to a great extent that all that Chakra and Shadow healing work I commit myself to is paying off really good.
No man is an Island! So, relationships are a major part of our experiences in this Earth school. No matter the kind of relationship, they are very important and a necessity.
Now commitment, is another foundation! There can never be fulfilling relationships, connections or experience without commitment! Unlike most people think, commitment is not the same as trapping people, controlling their lives or holding them back. Commitment is putting your heart, body, mind and spirit into something or someone!
It doesn’t and shouldn’t in anyway inhibit your freedom or your self-expression.
Tell us about your family.
I come from a family of mixed tribes. Water and Earth! My Family are Jehovah’s Witnesses and I was brought up that way. I have 5 siblings, 2boys, 2girls and I am in the middle!
What state are you from?
Delta State
What’s your position in the family?
I am technically the 3rd child.
Are your family aware of your career choice?
To an extent they are. They know I am a Sex Coach! But every other thing they aren’t really aware.
Are they supportive or you get backlash from them?
They don’t bite, Although, they judge sometime based on their religious doctrines. But they don’t make a fuss about it. I would say they are more encouraging than supportive! They encourage me to go to Kingdom Halls! But they don’t really talk about me not doing what I do or supporting it.
What are your plans for your career?
So, I have a long stretch! But the most, short term one which is in 3 years is to be a Certified “Authentic Tantric Practitioner and Teacher”.
Related read: Why I Quit Nollywood to Become A Strip Dancer – Crystal Adeoye
Seunmanuel Faleye is a brand and communications strategist. He is a covert writer and an overt creative head. He publishes Apple’s Bite International Magazine.
